Getting Orientated

I may not be able to spell "gnats" correctly, but I spelled orientated that way on purpose. We recently went to high school orientation for my daughter, Rebecca. We arrive on time. She goes to her homeroom to get her schedule and run through a practice day. I go to the cafeteria. I thought we were going there to have a presentation. No, we, the parents, were to wait in line to get our kid's schedule, locker assignment, and text books. The line stretched from one end of the school to the other. It was kind of like being at Disney World. You know, you get to what you think is the end of the line only to find out it wraps around another corner (except here there was no exciting ride to get on). After waiting for half an hour and not getting anywhere, I decide to go wait it out on a bench in the foyer. Why stand, when I could sit? I decide to make a quick run to Hardees for a milk shake since Rebecca hadn't had breakfast and her teeth were killing her from getting braces the day before. Thought I'd surprise her.

After an hour and a half, the line is reasonable. I get what I'm supposed to in the cafeteria, then head to the gym to get her text books--more like anvils. I had to stop several times on the way to her locker to take a break. I go where the lady said to go and her locker is not there. I go to the office, up a flight of stairs to wait for my daughter. She can help carry the anvils and find her locker. I'm sweating profusely. We meet, she takes the books and we find her locker. It doesn't work. We trudge back to the cafeteria to get another locker. The locker lady has left. They page her. Someone finally comes back with what's left of the available lockers. She gets her new assignment. It's back at the front of the building and up a flight of stairs. We successfully unload the books.

We're both tired and sore and grouchy. We get to the car. She reaches in the insulated lunch bag where I had cleverly stored her milk shake. IT DUMPS OUT! I'm yelling. She's yelling. Her mouth is aching. We have no aspirin and she can't find her wax to cover the brackets that are gouging her checks. We go to Hardees and get another milk shake and food. The guy recognizes me from earlier. Oh joy. We go to Rite Aid next to get some wax. They have it! We're starting to calm down.

We arrive back at the house and walk in the door. Our dog, Gracie, has opened a cabinet and gotten in to a package of Ramen Noodles. They're scattered all over the kitchen and living room floor. More joy! In fact, joy unspeakable! I leave Rebecca to take some aspirin and clean up the mess. She takes a two hour nap. I head back to work to sit in meetings and wish I was taking a nap.